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White Woman To Black Women: “Don’t Hate; Appreciate”

White Woman To Black Women: “Don’t Hate; Appreciate”

Apparently, the letter below was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman, who requested a response from Black men, which she got, and which we feature after hers.

Dear Jamie:

I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male who is good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes… I could go on and on.

But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your act together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl,

Somewhere in Virginia


A Black Man Responds

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Black man.

I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Black men. I will not use my precious time to slander White people. I just want to set the record straight of why Black men date White women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Black men dated White women was because they were considered easy. The Black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church.

They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the White girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date White women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

Because of this fear, many Black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their White women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Black men date White women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Black women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous White men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Black women over White women.

Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want A Disgusted White Girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are White that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

Read your history! It was the Black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being Black and being a woman.

And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the Black woman’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering, is why I have fallen in love with Black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be White, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Black woman has.

Bottom line: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.


Black Royalty


  1. Please keep in mind, often Black women aren’t angrily looking at you. More times than not, ther are many Black men we’ll happily hand over to you, because of who they are. Especially, the ones who are needy, doggish, too time consuming, and just pure crap. We’ll gift wrap and drop them at your home, special delivery.

  2. Calling white girls “easy” is pretty ironic, considering the single motherhood rate in the black community. Study after study shows that people aren’t attracted to black women, at the same rates they’re attracted to white, Asian, and Latina women. Even black men don’t respond well to black women on dating websites.

    White women aren’t easy to control, and anyone who thinks this, has never dated one. We tend to be conniving and underhanded and play the long game. We may not get in your face like a black woman, but you’ll rue the day you anger a white woman. Dont forget, the courts are almost always on our side.

    Black men date white women because they are attracted to them, and because many still view it as a status thing. Black women are jealous of white women. They’re jealous of our status and that men are more attracted to us. I can’t go on Pinterest without encountering black women, for no reason, insulting white women: our features, our hair, our smell. Why? I don’t insult black women on their appearance, because I don’t consider them a threat. They consider white women a threat and that’s why they are always so rude to white women, especially ones who date black men.

    Also this guy needs a history lesson. The Egyptians weren’t black, and Europeans were taking care of their children and “seasoning food” long before encountering Africans. On top of this, white people were sailing across the ocean, building cathedrals, and writing symphonies while black people were living in huts.

    • My husband is white. I never preferred Black men as a mate because I don’t find them attractive. My husband feels the same about white women as well. Reading Black Royalty’s post and your perspectives about his feelings of Black women, seemed to anger you with jealousy. You can’t take away a Black man’s truths about his perspectives of Black women by being a bully, it’s downright incongruous and you know it. To be candid, black men, who’ve dealt with white women, have all said it was a huge mistake and how much resentment they have towards white women. The stereotypes about Black women is far from the truth. Reread Black Royalty’s post again, that’s the truth about Black women.
      Last but not least, Black women who swirl with non-Black and white men who desire them, aren’t checking for white women who date Black men, it’s the other way around. My husband and I get glared down with hateful looks from Asian and white women. Hmmm, I wonder why.

    • Maybe you should research the Moors, who were Africans who educated Europe on nearly everything they know. To be honest, we really aren’t worried about white women. It’s kind of wishful thinking. We laugh at your ethnicity behind closed doors. You tan thinking it brings a “tropical hue” and put traditional African tribal braids in your hair, but it is a “trend.” I don’t know who raised you, but it seems like you were limited to learn in a hut. Do your research instead of looking on Pinterest. Sometimes, if you don’t wash your hair, you stink — so do Asian, Latina, and Black women. You are not a threat to us. Your status is injustice to the African American population. I don’t know about you being “conniving”, but I agree with you ; courts are always on your side. You may not notice, but if you grew up around Black women, you’ll know that you won’t even risk getting them angry. Not if you want to live. You’re right, a lot of mothers are single. That’s what happens when men don’t take responsibility. Let’s not fake, white people do eat healthier and are fitter. In return, their food is not always seasoned. This needs work. If a Black woman is rude to you, trust me, it’s not because you like Black men.

      To be honest, who doesn’t like Black men. Their average size is larger than white males. I hope you are reborn as a Black woman so you can see our point of view. By the way, are you a man? I guess we’ll never know who they’re more attracted too. Yet, consider this: the white ethnicity is filling their lips and butts — we know.

    • Yes, Black women may have the highest rate of having babies. That is because we have our babies. White women have the highest rate of aborting them, giving them up for adoption, or leaving them wrapped in a bag outside.

  3. This is horrible what “white woman” author wrote. I am a white woman and my man is black. I never have any comments form black women and do not feel anything negative from them. Also, the fact that black men, from your words, chose white over black women, should not suggest that all of them have the same opinion, like yours. Perhaps he has his own experience, but it is wrong to generalize and make a conclusion, based on his experience. Also, think about it, if he chose you, primarily because you are white, you might have a problem, because if it is real love, color really does not matter at all. I think your case is individual, and it is a mistake to generalize and make assumptions and such conclusions, based on your relationship.

    • I think the negative attention these women receive from black women is more wishful thinking than reality. Women are typically messy. This whole narrative is just female messiness.

  4. Tiffany Nkezabahizi

    I’m not black, and I don’t consider my husband, who is from Africa, as a black person either. I think black is reserved for African Americans. Anyway, it’s unfortunate that Black Royalty completely missed the white girl’s point. She never said she was perfect, but that black women, as a group, have a lot of issues to work on. And if men want something so easy, it doesn’t make sense to marry the white girl, instead of dumping her for a “strong black woman”. Also, if these men who chase the “easy” white girls, have their own issues, why the f..k would a “strong black woman” want them anyway. Shouldn’t they be happy that non-black women are doing them a favor. In conclusion, one culture is NOT better than another; it is personal preferences, and haters need to mind their business. And I can’t help but find the tone of the black man offensive, and he has the nerve to say, no offense. Get over yourself.

    • You sound triggered. Black women are no more messy or catty than all other women. It’s your gender that makes you messy.

    • I’m incredulous you think your husband isn’t Black. Is that what he’s telling you? He may not be American born, but without a doubt he’s “Black”, especially in America.

  5. I think the caucasian woman has something there. White women are not always beautiful or physically attractive, but I think that it is a fact that the most good-looking white woman is way more attractive than the most attractive black woman.
    Also why do they tan? Well a tan is not trying to look like a black person. The skin tinge that comes from tanning is equated with having gone to tropical places — its a status thing in a way, but also a statement that ‘here is my pale skin transformed for a bit into a nice hue’. White woman ARE attractive for their pale skin, and that is coveted by other males of all races.
    Caucasian women come in all hair colors and a variety of eye colors too….there is variety..blonde, brunette, redhead…blue, green, brown, black….nothing like a beautiful white, caucasian girl. It is a fact that so many black men love them, and put them on a pedestal, and they are very…very attractive…

    • Inaccuracy is high tonight!!!!

    • As I stated before, Black Royalty has your mind and others like you in a bind. I heard Black men have that kind of power over women like you.
      You can’t handle Black Royalty’s devotion toward Black women, especially when he mentioned the purity, strengths and integrity of Black women, indeed he’s not a liar. His comment really shook your nerves to the core; that’s unfortunate you can’t embrace another woman’s compliment.
      Women like you want to be the only ones worshipped on a pedestal, when in reality nobody really wants you anymore, it’s exotic women like me who they want, something you can’t stand to see. Maybe you should stop looking at Pinterest, at all of the swirling men who’re with Black women. You’re intimidated and jealous of Black women’s intelligence, beautiful attributes and versatility that is mimicked by non-Black and white women, globally. FYI: If you see a beautiful Black woman with a non-Black or “white” man, just remember that she isn’t jealous of you, she isn’t envious of you, she feels sorry for you. Embrace and stop the hate. Have a good one.

  6. Please take out men. Too many of them are gross and cheating and unloyal pigs. I’ll date any other race but, not black men. I’m a black woman and I hope your relationship will stay good.

  7. Although this is an old letter, the same attitudes prevail.

    If DWG has to go out and put down Black women, it says a lot about her thinking. As a Black woman, I wouldn’t be jealous of that. An insecure woman always have to feel big by putting others down. I wouldn’t be surprised that she looked more like a platypus, than a beauty. Even if she is a beauty, she’s still insecure.

    It’s also interesting how DWB reasons for being with her man: it’s about material things or just looking good. Where’s the “he’s a great guy, a responsible family man and a committed guy, who loves his family?” Gee, what will happen if she loses her supposed good looks, her submission to get a man or runs out of money?

    Years ago, I had that “anything-but-a-Black-man” attitude, and faulted it to being bullied by some Black kids and living in mostly White communities, but I woke up. Donald Trump didn’t do it, politics didn’t do it nor did a racist White person wake me. Something just hit me.

    Maybe it was my former high school teacher, who told me to look closer at people, places, things and ideas. The more I did that,the more I grew attracted to everything Black — men included. I had to make sure that it wasn’t a fad. Its not.

    My father, who left me and my siblings, as kids, for “a better life”, didn’t leave us for a White woman, as they didn’t appeal to him, but he left us for a more prosperous, insecure Black woman. He’s now down and out in a rehabilitation nursing home, but he taught me a lesson about true happiness — that the grass would have been greener, were he with us. He cries about what he did, enjoyed the former neighbors and admitted being foolish. He also has another son, who could care less if he was dead or alive and a wife, who isn’t well herself.

    My mother had forewarned her that she (my mother) had him in his glory days, while his current wife will have my father in his worst. She wasn’t lying about that. Although my mom’s health isn’t the greatest, she’s doing way better. She’s not in a nursing home, she finished raising her kids and is enjoying her grandkids, who, all but one, are grown. My father also have grandkids, by my stepmom, but they’re babies. They’re not able to do the things with him, as we can with my sister’s kids.

    I don’t know if DWG’s Black boyfriend knows about his girlfriend’s racist attitude, but if he does and puts up with it, then he’s as racist as she. I wouldn’t want my brother to be with a loser like that, and in case any Black man wants to be with someone of another race because they’re “easier” to be with, let my example be a lesson to you. You can’t escape real world problems. Sooner or later, the things you try to run from, with Black women, will come back, big time, with a White/non-Black woman.

  8. Thank you Black Royalty for spitting out pure facts! Let them know what’s up.

  9. What a joke.
    People are so unbelievably sheeplized they will fall for ANYTHING.
    Use your brain, even if it hurts at first, and think about this – can you prove that ”Disgusted White Girl”, is actually white?
    Do you really believe that the picture offered, is of her and ”her man”?
    What about Mr. Black Royalty.
    Is he really black? Are you sure he has his facts 100% straight? Absolutely sure?
    This is just another ridiculous example of race baiting between the goyim!
    All goyim are created equal afterall!

  10. The U.S. only seems to have 4 ethnicities – Asian, black, Hispanic and white.

    I’m from the U.K. but my parents are Lebanese and Argentinian. In the U.K. I’m considered mixed. I’m in a relationship with a black man. I’ve been raised as strong and independent and I can certainly hold my own in an argument. Sometimes I can be intimidating, even to him. That’s nothing to do with race or anything of the such. We’re together because we find each other attractive, funny and can have intellectual discussions. I wouldn’t care if he were polka dot or stripy.

  11. That was right on point like destroy her stupid simple ass.

  12. Beautiful Black Woman

    I thought the reply from Black Royalty was well written and well thought out. Thank you for showing someone who is extremely ignorant that she should keep her stupidity to herself!

    An Educated, Gorgeous Black Woman…

  13. While the letter from the “Disgusted White Girl” was rude and out of place, the reply from the apparently successful black guy was no better…. both just riddled with emotionally-charged rhetoric.

    • Your reply is the only one that made sense. So it seems 20% of people who reply to this have any sense and the rest are either supportive of the “white” woman’s racism or of the “black” man’s racism. Critical thinking is a minority.

    • You sound triggered. You get what you give.

    • So you think Black Royalty is rude, I beg to differ. His comment spoke nothing but the truth.

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