Bertrand Russel once very wisely said, “Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.”
Wise words indeed; unfortunately the only problem is that a lot of women are so lonely that they will accept anything from a man in order to be in a relationship.
Most men will give you clues from the very beginning as to what it is that they want; what their intentions are. The only problem, of course, is that many of us refuse to “really listen” to what he is saying, not only to his actions but also by his words, as men are simple creatures.
It is in your best interest to dial into his frequency and receive the information as it is being transmitted to you. No matter how painful that information is.
Often, men will try their best to let you know what they really want, or do not want from you. Unfortunately, we are so often caught up in the great sex, potential of a husband or partner, or our knight in shining armour with perfect credit, dark chocolate skin and pearly white teeth; that we never hear what they say are truly saying.
Some of us will even get mad at him when he does not respond in the manner that we want him to, or see us as how we think that he should.
William Hazlitt wrote, “An honest man speaks the truth, though it may give offence; a vain man, in order that it may.” Of course there are men out there that will lie just to get into your pants. Should women not be held somewhat responsible for what was inevitable if the love of your life tried to tell you what his intentions were from the beginning?
Why did you stay in a situation for so long that was obviously no good for you? There are many reasons that women stay in bad relationships, and at the top of the list is the fear of being single. Many men are clued into this and will use this to their advantage; it is however your job to nip their thinking in the bud.
“You know that there are many women out there just dying for a man, and are sitting at home just waiting for a Mr. Right to come into their lives and take care of them,” an old friend of mine (let’s call him Donovan) said to me one day. “They want to have a man come to their rescue and take care of them, and that is why men cheat, lie and not treat them properly.”
According to him, “Most men would have more than one woman if they could, and most do, and most of us do not wish to be tied down, but we only do it to please you guys.” The funny thing is, after listening to Donovan I did agree with him on many points. I was more appreciative of his honesty, as I listened intently, and was glad that he had opened up as to how he really felt about certain things.
The one point that I did agree with is that some women refuse to listen when a man speaks and that has to be altered in order for us to have lasting, meaningful relationships that will go further than just the bedroom.
At the end of the day, sex is something that we can all acquire at the drop of the dime; but as we know, sex does not equal love. “Yes, I do agree with you, that some of us are afraid to be single or dread the thought of not having children, but that is definitely not Sandy Daley and many other women that I know of,” I replied to him bluntly.
Obviously, it was not my job to try and “change” Donovan’s mind or even be upset at his way of thinking; as you should never be mad at a man when he opens up his heart enough to tell you that you should not “expect” anything from him.
Remember, you are in control of your life and what you will accept or not accept. If you wish to make him a “Mr. Right Now” or if you wish to run to the hills far away from him – the choice should be yours.
Always remember to listen intently to what is being said to you by a man – as that will enable you to make the best decision for yourself – as you strive to remain in control of your life.
Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: firstname.lastname@example.org, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: email@example.com.