Is Our Behaviour Causing Overweight African Canadians To Remain Obese?

By Dr. Peter Sealy
Pride Guest Writer 

Eating can be very comforting for African Canadians who are dealing with the issue of being overweight. Indeed we as African Canadians celebrate with food as do many other cultural groups. There is though the type of individual who uses food in a manner that they find soothing and will eat when he or she is in high spirits or feeling gloomy. Certainly it doesn’t help when we in the African Canadian community tell this individual that he or she is fat because it only makes them eat more to deal with the emotional pain of the negative putdown.

African Canadians, like all people who are overweight, need supportive family members and appropriate community resources to help them along their journey to weight loss. But it is important to remember that weight loss will take place for African Canadians and other people from all walks of life that are overweight, only when they believe that it is time to do so. So it starts with the person and not family, friends or community members pushing and prodding them or making them feel terrible for being overweight.

At times this pushing and prodding by family members can include the use of derogatory terms like mampie, fatso, blimp, fatty and other hurtful words. The cruel remarks spoken in patois from family members that include “lawd how come you get so fat” and “where he think he going with his fat self” only adds to the destabilization of the individual’s mental health. Further comments like telling a person that they look like they have never missed a meal is damaging to their self-esteem or how they feel about themselves.

It is important that those engaging in name-calling and otherwise negative and unruly behaviour towards people who are dealing with a weight issue immediately abstain from it.  Words are powerful and they can indeed hurt. This behaviour by family members, friends or strangers is never funny and only serves to isolate the individual. Our behaviour towards African Canadians dealing with a weight issue is forcing them to walk around with a heavy mental burden associated with being overweight.

It is wrong yet seemingly easier for people to label overweight individuals as less capable, lazy and lacking in self-control and compare them to the so called normal thin people rather than examine how their behaviour contributes to people remaining overweight. If you are an African Canadian facing racism, living in poverty and dealing with discrimination as a result of being overweight, this then becomes a complicated stressor that can lead to deeper isolation, self-hate, eating more and possible suicide. Sadly here, people who are overweight could dislike others who are also overweight. One plausible reason for this could be that they represent mirrors of themselves.

When a person is made to feel guilty whenever they put a morsel of food in their mouth this can unfortunately work in ways that can make them feel at fault and eat more. Indeed this may be contrary to what community, family members and friends engaging in this negative behaviour may be intending. As a society we tend to be quick to blame people for being overweight rather than trying to properly understand and address the issue.

Sometimes it would appear that some of the people berating the person dealing with a weight issue would rather see them starve themselves. It would be helpful if African Canadian parents and other family members can tell their loved ones dealing with a weight issue that they want to become an integral helper in their plan to lose weight. Further to tell them that they love them, be mindful of the effects of their stigmatic behaviour and take concrete and positive steps in offering support.

The mother, grandmother, aunt or other family member should always be mindful of the types of food they give to a child and be diligent in not letting a child overeat. The issue of overeating can be complicated by some parents in our African Canadian community who shower their children with praise when they can eat the large portions of food set out on the table before them and frown on the child who cannot do the same.

What about the parent who says, “I don’t want people to say that I am starving my child” and feed him or her non-stop? This child could easily grow up to eat the same way without setting any limits on their eating. Helping a child make healthy decisions about their food intake is the right thing a parent can do for their growing child.

Indeed we have to encourage African Canadian children to eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grains and also consume less fat and sodium. Additionally to watch less television, watch less television while eating and be more physically active. It is important to note that the taste, texture and appearance of food may mean a lot to many of us. But how the food is cooked could mean a lot more to our health.

During my high school days I befriended a classmate who was the target of school bullies because she was overweight. She was spat on and even pushed and shoved at times. I decided to walk her home one day to protect her from the bullies and to relate the problem with regards to the bullying to her mother. But what I noticed was that the mother comforted her tearful daughter with a large cake, chips and soft drinks. I was able to point out to the mother with some difficulty that the food choices were making the matter worse. With time the mother changed the types of food that she gave her daughter and with the intervention of the school principal to deal with the bullies this young African Canadian woman soon felt a lot better. Today, this now grown woman is still a friend with a healthy weight and encouraged me to write this article for Pride News.

The parent who ridicules their son or daughter about losing weight discourages them as opposed to encouraging them to lose weight. The constant ridicule can cause a son or daughter to suffer from anxiety and depression. Imagine hearing everyday that you are fat by a parent and how bad this could actually make you feel. It is bad enough dealing with negative public attitudes and behaviour never mind that of your parents.

The golden rule is that one should never see a person’s weight first before they see the person. When a person breaks the golden rule it can play out in that person addressing others by their weight. I have never met a person who likes to be addressed by their weight and not by their name. Simply put, this type of behaviour is demeaning and only undermines the mental health of the person dealing with the weight issue.

Sometimes the family member or friend jokes about the person’s weight and when the individual gets upset counter by asking the person if they cannot take a joke. But if it was the other way around the person making the joke wouldn’t like it. Who really gives people the right to make fun of someone because they are overweight? For Pete’s sake, being overweight is not a crime and for some people it is due to a medical issue. We need to start treating each other with the dignity and respect that we all deserve.

The negative ways in which we treat people who are dealing with a weight issue can have far reaching effects that can affect school performance, anger control and self-confidence. The fallout for some that may lead to anxiety and depression can start with the person internalizing the hurtful things said to them about their weight. This is then followed by isolation and the anxiety that now comes with eating. Overtime the person could start feeling sad and worthless followed by difficulty getting out of bed to go to school or work. This feeling may also affect other areas of their lives that include hobbies and even sex. These feelings lasting over two weeks are a serious cause for concern about a person’s mental health. Perhaps many of us should take some time to reflect and ask ourselves if we are contributing to a family member, friend or some other person remaining overweight as a result of our behaviour.