Is He A Mr. Right, Or A Mr. Right Now?

Actress, singer and entertainer, Cher once wisely said, “A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones!” I have always loved Cher as she is a very talented artist, but it is obvious to me that she is also a very wise woman.

What is a poor girl to do while waiting for Mr. Right to walk through the front door or ride in on his white horse? How does she pass the time?

I myself have always known the type of man that would make me want to at least “slow down” one day. Of course he would have to be worldly, educated, funny, full of swag, a little bit hood and romantic at the same time. He certainly has to be ambitious, self-driven, Godly, compromising and also respectful of his elders and his heritage.

He also has to be confident, meeting most of my requirements, and certainly not breaking my “deal breaker” requests- and there are many. Tall order, right? Could such a man be alive and not just be a figment of my imagination? Perhaps so, but in the meantime, one seemingly has to kiss a lot of frogs to find one’s Mr. Right!

To be completely honest with you, I myself thought that this man would never surface, a dream never to be full-filled, as I envisioned myself with a geeky-looking man with thick-rimmed glasses as my back-up. He would be saying, “Yes Sandy” or “Anything you want Sandy”, as I shouted at him rudely for leaving the toilet seat up, again.

The thought of a “Yes Man” not able to hold his ground with me when I challenged him, and challenge him I will, repells me to my core as I know that this type of man would not stand a chance with me.

As I do not intend to add to the increasingly high ratio of divorce or infidelity which has plagued our society over the last few years, (recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital relationships at some point of their relationship); I will not marry unless I am 100 percent sure of my choice.

Why marry someone to whom you might not be entirely attracted in the first place?  My question is, why add to the statistics?  Believe you me, I am as modern as the next woman, but also as old-fashioned as your Pentecostal aunt scurrying to Church every Sunday, with her bible clutched tightly to her bosom.

You know that aunt right? The one that complains to your mother by stating, “God forbid the young ladies of today who have no morals to stand on and can’t boil water to save their lives, much less know how to keep a man happy and get him to marry her.” My apologies my friends, I do digress, as that is my life!

The way how I rationalize things these days in order to make sense of it all, is that one has to go through a lot of pain and suffering in order for you to figure out their likes and dislikes when choosing a partner. You must have a guider of sorts in order to steer you in the right direction. If not, you will be nothing more than a loose leaf blowing aimlessly in the wind, landing anywhere and nowhere of substance.

Closely examine your relationship or situation with a man as you would a job, only moving forward if there is a probability of emotional gains, rewarded investment or a rainbow at the end of a long road. You have to know what you want from a man, and know what you deserve.

Approach the situation with teenager-like qualities, still willing to believe in love and throwing all caution to the wind; but still fully in control of yourself. Do not be that loose leaf in the wind, blowing under cars or on top of trees, as if you have no say in what happens to your life.

At the end of the day, being happy is all that you should strive to be, even if you have to be alone for a minute or two. You also need to remember that Rome was not built in one day, so therefore, your Mr. Right might take his sweet little time to get to you.

In the meantime, there is nothing wrong with dating a Mr. Right Now; at least he will further demonstrate to you, what you want and do not want from a man. Count it as a blessing!

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.