Pride Sex Columnist
In this inaugural column, I received a special request to write on the question: “Does size matter?” This immediately excited me because I love talking about sex.
You know those women who believe that size indeed doesn’t matter? I was one of those women. “It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean,” or some foolishness like that; I believed that too—until I met him. I realized after asking him, “Are you in yet?” that my personal preference was a big penis. And then I met him, him with the penis touching his knees, and not one lick of knowledge how to use it. That’s when I realized my personal preference, was an average sized penis, and then I met him….in heaven. I then understood the importance of knowing how to use whatever it is you have. Couple that with being sexually open minded, plus an honest willingness to please, my current personal preference is simply a great sex life.
At this time in our grown ass lives the question really isn’t: “Does size matter?” (Though the answer to that is: Yes!) Rather: “Ok, you have a penis, soooo now what?” Sex is so much more than size, my back on the bed, his body between my thighs, and the in and out ritual that follows; to me, it’s about having fun! Whether it be loud, wild, neighbour waking fun, or quiet, stare deep into my eyes while Bob Marley serenades us fun. Sex should be fun!
Sex should also be a conversation, I need my SO to know that I am at the stage of my sexual life where penile orgasms are rare, and clitoral orgasms are much appreciated. Meaning: If he doesn’t lick the clit, we can’t hang, if he can’t stroke it with his fingertips to facilitate my orgasm, we can’t hang. Life is too short for bad sex. Your right to be pleasured the way you desire is too precious to be compromised by someone who not only is ignorant to your body, but who is also ignorant to theirs.
Granted different strokes for different folks…literally, but the thought of having mediocre or bad sex for the rest of my life makes me not want to get married. It’s that serious! Ladies, and gentlemen your SO needs to know your different degrees of freak! That should not be a surprise I open up when I want to handcuff him and he shows his prude. Many marriages and relationships fail because one partner is expecting a freak in the sheets, and all he/she gets is a deadweight, and the many different variations possible.
Does size matter? Yes it does.
As not all vaginas are created equally, neither are all penises, and small penises need love too—just not from me. Receiving sincere pleasure is a need we all share, and if he is not open to learning how to turn his shortcomings (oop!) into a strength, no one is going to have a good time.
Amirah welcomes your feedback! Send your comments or questions about this or any other spicy subject to: firstname.lastname@example.org