All Things Work Together For Good!

By Sandy Daley

How difficult is it to ‘start over’? Can you actually forget all your past mistakes, roll up your sleeves and dive into the unknown once again? I believe that we can; especially us ladies. With experience and pain, character is built, and with that being said, life certainly has no guarantees, it doesn’t matter how rich, beautiful or successful we are.

The only thing that we have on which to rely, is our inner strength, and as time passes we will undoubtably be tested by many challenges. It doesn’t matter how painful these trials and tribulations are, we all have many things upon which to draw, as long as we do not throw in the towel in total despair.

Take my friend, Marsha for example.  She was 45 years old and still single. She lights up a room when she enters. Yes, her temper is too short; skirt too tight; lipstick too bright; and she is a few pounds overweight, but her personality is intoxicating. She still knows how to turn heads!

Her divorce from Peter was now final, and she was beginning to feel as if she could not cope. She had not thought about her own future while she had been married. Her only child, Zachery was the light of her life, but with him living miles away while at college, Marsha was often left all alone, preferring not to indulge too much in the party scene.

Her job as a manager for a clothing company was secure, although her financial portfolio could have been a little healthier. Although she had never filed for bankruptcy, she was beginning to consider it. The situation was getting to be a little stressful because of all the years of raising a son by herself, and taking care of the bills. Her dating life was nonexistent. However, over the last few years, she had seriously attempted to find Mr. Right, but had failed miserably and given up.

Despite the failures, Marsha continued to work, pay her bills, and work out at the gym, while silently praying that Mr. Right would come waltzing through her door.  “You are never going to get that,” said her friend Malcolm. “Just find a man who likes you, and even if you don’t like him that much, you’ll learn to love him. You will see how good it can be.”

Maybe Malcolm was right. “What the heck is going to happen to me now that I am all alone and Zachery is at school?” she asked herself. Marsha wished that she had listened to her inner voice and put something away for herself while she had been married to Peter. “I wonder if the Lord can send me a man now,” she wondered. She needed help with the bills! Desperation was surely setting in!

The very first thing that Marsha has to do is to truly ‘give herself a break’! Often, we forget that we are doing the very best that we can, and that a man or anyone else is not supposed to ‘save us’. We need to rely upon ourselves, regardless of how hard the road may be or seem to be.  We must trust that ‘all things work together for good’. Finding any man to ‘help you with your problems’ is certainly the wrong way to go, as that solves nothing, since you might be biting off a lot more than you can chew.

There is nothing wrong with finding a mate with whom to spend your life, but doing so under false pretences will eventually result in hurt for both parties.  Wait, be patient and the one that is right for you will appear at the right time.

Also, one thing that I have come to realize is that everything that has happened to me, whether it be positive or negative, has worked for my benefit. I may not have understood it at the time, but in time the true reason of why things happened will manifest itself, and allow me to breathe a sigh of relief and say,  ” Tank Yu Jesus.”

So to all the Marsha’s of the world, I say, “hang in there girl. Life is tough but, what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.”

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email:thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.