By Yvonne Sam
Social and Political commentator
There is an age-old saying that love is not only blind, but oh-so-o-o hard to find. Has anyone ever encountered a female, who was so impetuous for romance, that she sacrificed her entire being, just for a corner of a male’s heart?
Credence is further given that “A piece of a man is better than no man”. However, on a saner note and weighed evidence, no man is worth having if, instead of complementing a woman’s life, he subtracts from her value.
At some point in her life, every woman has dreamed about her ideal man, planned her wedding and even picked out names for her unborn children. To what extent is she willing to go, in order to achieve that happy ending? Is the loss of her sense of identity worth the cost of being happy?
Regrettably, many women become so caught up in the things that they desire, that they neglect to take care of their own needs. Rather than be uncomplaining and wait on the man that God has for them, they, instead, try to create him. However, sometimes what women want is not necessarily what they may need.
The great majority of females fail to grasp the notion that you can be in a relationship with someone, and yet not have ownership of his heart. In other words, what good is it to have the key to a man’s heart, if it does not unlock it? No matter how hard one tries to twist and turn the lock, it fails to open.
In more ways than one, relationships are similar to puzzles. As women, we have all the pieces (signs), but yet are too afraid to put it together, because the whole idea of being finished (broken up) frightens us, because there is nothing left to do, but move on.
But instead of accepting things as they present themselves, we frantically check the box (hold on) hoping that maybe all of the pieces are not there. The truth of the matter is, they were always there. But, for some apparent reason, we cannot comprehend the idea of being alone.
Almost instantaneously, we find fault and blame ourselves for the demise of our relationship, because of something we may or may not have done. Therefore, we change ourselves and try to fit the description of what someone says we should be. Subsequently, we ultimately end up not liking the person we have become. While we were so busy finding love, we managed to lose ourselves in the process.
What is even sadder is that some men do not realize that they had a good woman, until she is gone. Even then, he still does not realize, because he never paid enough attention to even know she was there. Moreover, no woman wants a man, whose ego is bigger than his heart. He will never be able to love a woman because he is too busy loving himself.
Truth be told, a woman should never fall for a man and expect him to pick her up, when he is the sole reason she is down. Love is a beautiful thing, but it means nothing when you cannot feel it.
Ladies, know your worth and know when to move on. Stop acting stupid — with Cupid.
Yvonne Sam, a retired Head Nurse and Secondary School Teacher, is Vice-president of the Guyana Cultural Association of Montreal. A regular columnist for over two decades with the Montreal Community Contact, her insightful and incursive articles on topics ranging from politics, human rights and immigration, to education and parenting have also appeared in the Huffington Post, Montreal Gazette, XPressbogg and Guyanese OnLine. She is also the recipient of the Governor General of Canada Caring Canadian Citizen Award.