By Donna de Levante Raphael
Pride Parenting Columnist
We moms have our own special language.
We all know that when you have children, it would be crazy to think your life would remain the same. Admit it, your life changes forever, and you suddenly find that your conversations are more often about vomit and bodily fluids than current events and world issues.
Happily, there are a few laughs along the parenting way. So to help all the new moms out there, VillageParent.com staff got together to hash up a very special dictionary of words that have special meanings for mothers:
Village Parent Mom’s Dictionary
Verbal: Ability to whine in words.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the little baby doesn’t appreciate your strained carrots or any veggies.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labour is still clear.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at her.
Prenatal: When your life was still your own.
Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would like to order dessert.
Showoff: Any child who is more talented than yours.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children with the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get the mop.”
What would you add to this list?
Former writer and publisher of the parenting magazine I-Parent and women’s magazine Cayman Woman. Currently working on editing a new parenting media site and releasing a parenting book. To contact Donna de Levante Raphael: firstname.lastname@example.org. For more parenting information visit -’Village Parent’ Facebook page. “Like” us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/VillageParent.