How Far Would You Go To Show Me Love?

In 1993 the hit of the year was Robin Stone with the big tune, “Show Me Love”; and I must say that it is still a favourite of mine to this day. The ladies, including myself, would run to the dance floors, Black and White, old and young, belting out this tune as if it was our anthem. The men seemingly understood our war cry, as they slowly made their way to the dance floor, shyly advancing towards the lady of their choice; meekly “begging a dance.”

Back then they “got it”, but however nowadays, the common thing among men is to “not really want a relationship!” Really now, what exactly does that mean, one would ask? My question would always be, “Then why allow me to get emotionally involved with you if you knew you wanted nothing or had nothing to give back to me? Good question, don’t you think? Which leads me to wonder, have men really lost focus and truly have no idea on how to deal with women anymore?

Have our roles changed so much over the years that no one wants to be married, or even be in a committed relationship? Should you hold back and let the man do all the work in the relationship, in order to save yourself potential heartbreak?

Okay, so you have had a great date, he seems like a wonderful man and you think that he is “the one”. You can see him as the father of your future children and the love of your life. You go home and are all gushy and in love, and you call him and tell him in your sweetest voice, “what a wonderful time you had.”

Only problem though, is that he never calls you back and does not even send you a text or an e-mail. With technology these days, there is just no excuse. If he has not called or “Facebooked” you, get the point my friend: he is not that interested.

Women tend to try to force the issue with a man. Okay, so you like him a lot and you have already picked out your bridesmaid dresses and your drapes for your house in the suburbs. Unfortunately, he has not! So you “will” yourself (and him, too), to let this dream of yours come true.

But he has not even called once to at least begin the actual baby-making and family-building process; and the statistics certainly do help our dating life in the long run. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, for every 100 unmarried women there are only 88 unmarried men. Even with these disparaging numbers, we must always remember that men are very simple creatures, and if they like you, they will find you, no matter where in the world you are.

I must admit that I do agree with the old wives tale that, “a man should love a woman more than how she loves him”; it is a proven fact that you will have a much happier relationship if you follow this old saying. Finding the right man is like finding the right shoe; they are all so pretty and shiny, but they don’t all fit!

Your man should fit into your world, not you into his. From my experience with men (and there have been a few), I have surmised that men will take and take and take until you have no more to give.

You have to put your foot down from the very beginning if you want your prospective man to know that you are not at his beck and call.

“But I think that he still loves me Sandy, and he just does not know how to show it,” one friend confided to me recently, as she discussed her relationship. “Well then, until he gets a clue and knows what to do, you just do you until such time,” I said to her. “Remember  that even at 100 years old, he can still find a young chick to be with; you on the other hand as a woman, will not be so lucky,” I went on to say. Harsh, I know, but necessary! “Do not put all your eggs into one basket”, my mother always used to say to me.

You do this by not making yourself available for him whenever he wants, and by not calling him constantly. He should be working overtime to get to you and wondering where you are, not the other way around. As Robin S. gleefully sang back then, “So baby if you want me, you’ve got to show me love. Words are so easy to say. You’ve got to show me love.” I totally agree Robin! 

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.