Never Say Never They Say!

A wise man once said, “Never say never!” Very wise words indeed as human beings change as they get older and wiser, and experience also allows us to look at situations differently as we mature.

With experience and maturity comes the understanding that we are only responsible for ourselves and cannot control another human being, not even our children at the end of the day. Are you able to be open to this fact and live according to your rules alone allowing the next man to live without you being scornful of his or her choices? Can you?

As a young woman, there were many rules and regulations that I placed in front of myself as I matured; my list was long and interesting. I would never date a soccer player or “pretty bwoy” as I used to call any handsome man that came across my way.

Boy, did I ever break that rule! My first boyfriend was the captain of the soccer team and was the most sought after by the ladies, as he was the most handsome. I would only attend University as going to College was such a waste of time! There was another “Never say Never” rule that I broke coming right out of the gates!

My three years at Centennial College, before my years at York University, were some of my most enjoyable and knowledgeable years. The Marketing and Communications experience that I acquired while at this institution has come in very handy in all other areas of my business, even to this day.

My associates and other acquaintances are often shocked at the amount of publicity I can garner once I put my mind to it truly convinced that I must have hired a huge publicity firm to do my dirty work for me. A friend of mine once asked,” So Sandy, how do you manage to get so much done in such a little space of time?

“You must have a lot of money to get so much publicity in a lot of major news outlets around the world,” she continued to say. I laughed out loud and replied, “No such ting mi dear because the only team that you don’t see is the team of one called ‘Sandy Nation’.”

My point to all of this is that if I had continued on with my “I am never going to do this and I am never going to do that,” I would have not accomplished any of my goals, as I attribute the years that I spent at College to any success that I have garnered over the years. While attending University was also very useful, however it was my years at College that have really come in handy for me in regards to Marketing and Publicity.

Another huge, “Never say Never” rule for me pertains to relationships, as I have learnt that time really does heal all wounds and one should not judge others for making “love choices” that they are comfortable with. In the past I would shout loud and clear to anyone that would listen that I would never go back to an old partner. However, as I matured I now realize that with time and a lot of self-acceptance and forgiveness, going back to an old lover is not such a bad thing after all. I mean really who am I to judge another human being right?

With all of this being said, at the end of the day, as long as you are able to live with yourself with all of your choices and decisions, and truly being open and forgiving to others and to ourselves, the word “never” should not be in our vocabulary. Rules and boundaries should still be set of course in order give us some sort of border in which to live by. However, these boundaries should not be so rigid that allow no wiggle room to grow or mature in our way of thinking about ourselves or others.

In my acting class and at every acting session, we are often told to choose “Yes” when we have to make a choice, versus choosing a “No.”

“It is a much better choice,” my acting coach would say. In life we also need to choose a “Yes” before we choose a “Never” as it is also a much better choice every time.

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.