No Man Is An Island – No Man Should Stand Alone!

The death of actor and comedian Robin Williams has certainly taught us a thing or two; especially about depression and the pain that many of us are internally going through. It has certainly opened up our eyes to this dreadful disease. We are also now more aware of the suffering that many of us go through, without us letting the world know about our dirty little secrets or our internal pain.

Will this man’s passing change the tone and language of human suffering, without there being a stigma attached to it any longer? Can we now admit that we all have ‘baggage’ that we carry within our hearts? Can we allow others to help us with whatever ails our hearts, body and soul? Can love truly conquer above all?

John Donne once famously wrote, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main”. How truthful, poignant and relevant are those words to many of us these days, as we try to maneuver our way through these difficult days.

We are, for the most part, in a constant state of unhappiness and discomfort, unable to find true pleasure and purpose in our lives. Relationships, especially our intimate ones, suffer drastically on every level, as we try to walk that very thin line between “being in control of ourselves” and being able to “fall head over heels in love” with someone.

Unfortunately, the easiest thing for many of us, is reverting to what has worked for us in the past, to bury our heads in the sand, and live as if we truly are all islands, never taking the chance when love really does find us again. Diving in head first, throwing caution to the wind like school children, becomes a very scary proposition.

Yet the question remains, are we bold enough, open-hearted enough to follow our inner most desires, to ultimately let go of our inhibitions or even ask, “Who’da thunk it?”,  as the ventriloquist dummy Mortimer Snerd  used to say.

Or will we forever resign ourselves to saying, at each corner that we turn, “Sorry honey, this was just not meant to be.” Do we have the balls to let ourselves truly love another, or will we forever be nothing but very “chicken-like” human beings? At least Mortimer had an excuse, as he was a dummy!

Many a times, the problem lies not within ourselves, but with the baggage that we each struggle with on a daily basis. Whether we wish to admit it or not, we all carry some sort of baggage, suitcase or “grip”, as we jokingly call it in Jamaica or even a chip on our shoulders.

We all have issues!  “But Sandy, no matter what you say, there are very few people out there these days willing to just let go of themselves, and throw caution to the wind as you suggest,” a girlfriend of mine stated. “Everyone is so scared to even allow anyone else to come into their inner circle, that relationships these days are almost virtually impossible to maintain.”

“And that is the problem,” I said to her hastily. We are all so caught up in our “it’s all about me lives,” that we have ultimately forgotten that God made man and woman when he created this earth. “Not only are we living selfishly in these last days, but we are not living up to God’s, nor our own true potential,” I added emphatically.

“If yu say so,” she replied. “The day that you find a man, or even a woman for that matter, willing to let go of all his or her baggage…please call me, as that, I definitely have to see.”

As heartbreaking as her statements were, and as unwilling as I was to admit to it, she did have a point, though I truly wanted to believe otherwise.

When polled as far back as 2001, up to 87 percent of people believed that finding their true soul mate was still a possibility. Although that number might have increased or maybe even decreased with the rise of internet dating over the last few years, true love is something that everyone seems to at least want in their lives.

Unfortunately for many of us, very often true love does appear, but we are so ‘chicken’, for a lack of a better word, to take the plunge, and often-times will grasp at straws, or anything that we can, out of fear of what could really be in front of us.

The very thought of “what this love could really be?”, is so frightening to us, that we will find anything, create many scenarios in order to sabotage that one beautiful relationship which God has given to us, as another chance at love.

We all have some sort of baggage, as your life experiences gives that to us. The trick however, in my opinion, is to find that one special person willing to carry that grip or suitcase with you through the journeys of life. And if and when you do find that special person, you only have one choice, and that is, to use your common sense and let your ego go, and only love.

Now that is the kicker and certainly a challenge! Do you have the balls to do so? Can I admit to my ‘baggage’ and ask for help before it is too late, or will I be standing on an island; alone? Time alone will tell I guess!

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email:thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.