Are You Financially Stable On Your Own?

Money does rule the world and often times money is used to control you, make you feel less than. Money dictates the quality of life that you live, and without money you cannot survive.

Unfortunately, a lot of times we make less money, even though we might do the same quality and quantity of work as a man in the workforce. According to the statistics, the median earnings for all women are $638 a week, compared to $798 for men; which is approximately 80 percent of what men earn on average.

This then leads you to perhaps marry for stability to ensure that you will live comfortably. Money does not make you happy, so don’t ever throw in the towel and settle with a man just because he is financially stable. Rely on yourself for stability.

It is wonderful if you find and love someone who is wealthy and you two have decided to make a life together. However, succumbing to fear and marrying for money while you stare at your dwindling bank account is not the answer.

Have you ever seen those wealthy women driving around in Bentleys, with Gucci handbags, with a butler and all, who no matter how much money they may have, are not happy? They may often turn to the bottle, drugs, infidelity and worse, just to fill a void. Do you think that it is just boredom why they act out in such ways? No, it is not! It is their inner voices telling them that they perhaps do not deserve what they have, and have not worked for it.

These women are often neglected by their husbands, openly begging for love and affection; which of course never comes. However, do you ever see the middle class or financially challenged woman, perhaps with kids in tow and a husband who works from dusk till dawn, how protective she is of her family? She knows the blood, sweat and tears that it took for her to acquire what she has.

The other thing to consider is that, with your own money, you will have the control of your own life. You will not be left as prey for men who wish to only use you for sexual pleasures. They are less likely to treat you with disrespect, as you are seen as their equal, someone to be reckoned with.

Even if you are a married woman, find something that allows you to be financially independent. You never know what might happen in the future, right? With this extra income, you will walk faster, stand more proudly and be more independent. You are able to provide for your children on your own, if it ever comes down to that.

“But Sandy, what if I meet a man who tells me not to work because he will take care of my every need?” my friend Amanda asked me once.

“And what if that man decides to one day leave the relationship and you behind, then what?” I asked her. “How do you take care of yourself and your children?” She got the point and found herself a job within a month – man or no man.

The amount of women that I have met in the past who depend upon their husbands for financial support is staggering and disheartening. I vividly remember the tears of one beautiful Persian girl, a member at the gym where I worked out.

She had been told by her husband that she had to quit working out, as he did not see the need for it. She was a stay at home mom, with four children and had no other means of income but her husband’s.

She had no choice but to quit as he had demanded. I will never forget her eyes the day that she left the gym, never to return. As I watched the tears roll from her eyes, which were bright red and puffy, I vowed never to let that happen to me.

“Better to be poor and in control of my own life,” I thought to myself as I watched her leave. Once again, I remain in control of my own fate. Are you in control of your destiny?

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.