Do You Love Bad Boys?

There are certain events around the world that make me stand at attention and allow me to also reflect on the state of my own life. One such incident was the capture and later the extradition of Christopher Michael Coke, also known as Dudus, from the island of Jamaica in 2010.

We were baffled, confused and angry as we watched every television station, from CNN to ABC; report on the atrocities as they unfolded. As angry as we were (and still remain), at either our heads of state, the reputed “drug lord” they were searching for, the police, or even the so-called criminals in the areas of Tivoli Gardens, we must admit that we were ashamed.

We were ashamed and hurt at what the world was seeing as they were warned to “stay away from Jamaica.” Our little island in the sun, our treasure, our paradise, was being trashed in front of the entire world. However, this situation allowed me to ask myself, “Was I really making use of all the opportunities in front of me?” Darn it, was too much choice ruining my life?

Turmoil does that to you most times. It either shakes you to your core and forces you to reflect and make changes accordingly, or you retreat further into your shell, blocking out the entire world as you do so. As human beings we are taught to protect ourselves from situations that are supposedly not good for us. Many of us settle along the way in various areas of our lives. We do not go for the one that our hearts desire, that man that makes our knees shake at the thought of him being close, or that job that you really want.

The residents of Tivoli Gardens and surrounding areas would be very happy to have the opportunities that we have in this country. They would be so grateful, yet we waste our chances and bitch and complain about the little snow that falls, or that God forbid we have to “move our cars on alternate days” if you live in New York City and other parts of the U.S. If only they had our problems, and the opportunity to “choose” better for themselves.

“But Sandy, what have you been doing with yourself lately?” my friend Natasha asked me recently.

“You know Mr. Big means you no good and will only break your heart. That man is trouble, why would you ever want to get back into that?” she queried further.

“I don’t know Natasha,” I replied. “I will just take my time with him this time around and see where it goes. If he wants to see me, he knows where I am. I am not taking any plane or car to go even meet him halfway. Mr. hot and cold (as I loved to call him), will have to show me what he really wants,” I forcefully lamented.

“As long as yu know seh him is a bad bwoy,” she said. “Why yu caan sekkle with a nice little carpenter eh?” she laughed at me sheepishly.

That is where she hit the nail right on the head, I thought! Okay, so Mr. hot and cold was a bad boy, but he was my Mr. Big. I have the right to choose who I want to be with; whether I was wrong or right! So, I might be wrong and next week and I might be right back here, lamenting on the troubles of Mr. hot and cold, but that is exactly my point – the choice is still mine. As long as I can muster up the courage, I will tackle the issues, which God allows me to tackle. I will not “settle” for the carpenter because it is a safe choice.

I only wished that Mr. Coke and the government of Jamaica had given the young men of Tivoli Gardens that same choice as well. Maybe many of them would be jumping on a mini bus right now, on their way to their jobs, instead of being in a box six feet under, or in a jail cell right now.

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.