Proverbs 21:19 says, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Many things in the bible may certainly be up for discussion or debate, but certainly those words are not! Who would disagree with such a statement? Certainly not I!
The one thing that many women do not like to hear, but which we must discuss, is the issue of excessive talking, explaining or bothersome activities, or nagging as we like to call it.
It leads us to conclude that there is an obvious difference between men and women. Women like to discuss a topic to death, even if they know that the matter has been resolved, handled or has already been discussed previously.
I admit, I also suffer from this deadly disease that seemingly has no cure. I will beat an argument to death, saying the same things over and over again: regardless of the consequences.
Most men would prefer that you tell them what to do once, leave them alone, and it will get done when they are good and ready.
There is no need, in their minds, to go on and on about the same point. While doing so, they tune us out, trying to figure out how to talk to you without hearing all the other unnecessary crap that goes along with the conversation. Then they clam up, zoning out completely. So then what happens? All communication shuts down between both parties, and now no one is talking; and thus the demise of the relationship begins.
You stop loving and supporting each other as partners should in a relationship. The first thing that you need to do is listen and do not try to make him into something that he is not. We always wish to believe that we are the saviours’ of our men, and it is our job to mold them into what we want.
This is certainly a mistake as the only people that you are responsible for are your children, as they are the only ones that you may shape and mold as you see fit. Unfortunately, even that will soon become a lost cause, because as time goes on, your children will also desire to leave your nest and find a way for themselves.
So leave your man alone and stop the nagging. If you are with him in a relationship and you have decided to stick it out with him. love and support him as both he and you deserve. He is your man, not your child or property!
If he has not “put a ring on it” yet, then you decide your own fate. Do you stay or do you go? And last, but not least, do not solely rely on all of your girlfriends’ advice. As you and I both know, their lives behind closed doors is not always what it seems to be.
They might be encouraging you to “Leave him girl, as he has not done anything for you,” while they are still living with a man who is outwardly cheating on them, or not loving them as he should.
The only person’s opinion that should be of major concern to you is your own opinion of yourself, and what you choose to accept or not accept in your love life.
Girlfriends should only be used to rest your head on when you are crying, or to vent to when you need to vent: not to determine the outcome of your love life.
Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: firstname.lastname@example.org, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: email@example.com.