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By Sandy Daley
Melody Beattie very eloquently wrote, “Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.” Very wise words indeed, as many of us continue to allow stress and strife to rule our everyday lives.
Can we ever truly learn to let go of stress? Will we be forever shackled to our problems, without truly allowing ourselves to enjoy life? Can we live by the golden rule of “whatever will be, will be?” Is the future truly ours to see?
In my opinion, in order to live stress-free, there are a few rules that we must incorporate into our daily lives in order to achieve such a goal. The first thing that you need to do is identify the source of the stress in your life; tackle the issue from the root. This is certainly not as easy as it sounds, as this task requires a heartfelt look into our inner most feelings.
Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Definitely, you may realize that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines or things that need to get done. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress. Realizing the source of the problem is a giant leap in the right direction and this should be considered as a major accomplishment on your part.
Another rule that you must apply when dealing with stress is your acceptance of the responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it. Your stress level will remain outside your control if you do not accept the fact that you can either refute or welcome stress into your life.
Also, if your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, then it is time to find healthier ones: ones that are more productive! There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require acceptance and change.
You must decide to accept the situation in front of you, and then you must be prepared to change it. Your commitment to doing these tasks will ensure that your stress level will eventually go down, as stress, which is often called ‘the silent killer’, is one of the leading causes of death amongst working professionals.
The fact remains that everyone has a unique response to stress, and there is certainly no ‘tried and true’ method, as whatever goes for the goose, does not automatically go for the gander. Figure out what works for you and then accept, focus, and change whatever needs to be changed; in order to fix your specific situation. Do whatever you have to in order to remain in control of your life.
I sound like Dr.Phil or Iyanla, don’t I? Whatever works baby!
You also need to learn how to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty about it. One has to definitely know their limits and stick to them; come hell or high water. Whether it is in your personal or professional life, when you bite off more than you can chew, it is a sure-fire recipe for stress. You should also try to avoid people who stress you out. If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely. As harsh as it may sound, it definitely works.
“But Sandy, yu know seh Donovan is the only man that I love, even though he stresses the hell out of me,” my girlfriend Dina once said. “I mean how am I supposed to just avoid him if I am in love with him, but he is the definite cause of my high stress level?”
“So you are telling me that you love Donovan more than how you love yourself,” I said to her poignantly. “You choose whose life is more important to you,” I added. “If Donovan is causing you so much stress, then he is not the man for you,” I said. Hopefully she took my stupid advice!
At the end of the day, you have to learn to figure out what stresses you out, and to not only take control of the situation, but also figure out how to relax, release and enjoy life – even amongst all of life’s challenges. Challenges will most certainly come your way, but how you deal with life’s challenges will be the deciding factor on the amount of stress that will affect you – and the longevity of your life!
Choose to be the master of your own domain!
Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email:thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.
