Woo The Atmosphere: Music And Sex

By Amirah
Pride Sex Columnist

There is no doubt that music and sex share an intense connection. I remember losing my virginity to DMX’s “Rough Rider Anthem”. He was my boyfriend, Nigerian, with a name I could barely pronounce, tall, lanky, and three years my senior. I’ve been entranced and sexually seduced by music especially hip-hop music ever since. Each genre, each song tells the story of my sexual history, my sexual awakening, and my growth as a woman and lover.

Melody and entwined movement. At its core, music is an art of communication, the beats, rhythms, lyrics, it’s all to express a need, thought, or feeling. Have you noticed your physical reaction to music? The feeling of euphoria, and spiritual awakening when your favourite song comes on? The booty-pop you serve when the beat drops? The leak from your vagina when your body writhes against an invisible penis to the melodies of Beres Hammond? Maybe you were conceived to Beres Hammond; damn I think half of Jamaica was conceived to Beres Hammond.

It is well documented that sex carries many of the same benefits as music. Both act as great medicine for the heart, body and mental wellbeing, aiding in the improvement of physical and emotional health. The “I have a headache” excuse no longer holds any water ladies, (and I’m sure the odd man) as both music and sex are beautiful rhythmic healers. Sex at its core is also a way we communicate, so it’s only logical that these two forms of expressions come together as a part of our physical intimacy.

The right music can serve as the voyeur in a threesome, it’s a mood enhancer, a seducer, and a dance teacher giving rhythm to the ill-rhythmed. I had a love who has the most awkward sense of rhythm I had ever seen, he just could not find the beat. Making love however, he bumped and grinded me into ecstasy. Music was the background for the music our love made, and the melodies and beats acted as our guide to orgasm heaven. Music has played an important part in my sex life, one of my dear friends said it best: “Your man hits the right spot while the singer hits a high note, one word, fireworks.”

Isn’t that what we all yearn for in our lovemaking? Fireworks? Turning on the radio, or pressing play on your playlist is not the only way to make that happen; there are plenty of people that do not use music as a part of their sexual intimacy. Yet those that do, seem to experience a heightened sense of sexual awareness, not only of themselves, but also of their partners. Ladies, have you ever had your hair pulled in time to a crescendo?

It is natural to include music with lovemaking—it only makes sense for it to be. We are sexual beings, music is an innate universal language, and we use both to express and communicate our love and need for our partner. Men and women have spent years, money, and beds sharing their stories of love and sexuality through songs, and instruments; coupling it with sex is as organic as sex itself. Another point of view however offers that the inclusion of music with sexual intimacy is socially influenced.

I wonder if we would have naturally needed to add to the sound of our partner’s breathing, and the arousal that alone stimulates if music was not a big part of marketing schemes in every other major area of our life; books, movies and television shows, and weddings have all taught us that music is a part of romance, and romance almost always leads to sex. So, what came first, the chicken or the egg?

I think back to being at a concert with my lover. Reggae music was blasting through the speakers, our sexual chemistry was on a hundred, and as we leaned against each other, eyes heavy, swaying to the music, all I could think about was wanting him. Although the sexual yearning was heightened in that moment because of the music, my reaction was a natural response, not contrived, or learned. Whether it be jazz, neo soul, lover’s rock, or rock and roll, music has a special relationship with our bodies, separate and inclusive of physical intimacy. And though I was never one for the clubbing scene, and going home with strange men, I get it. I get that music acts as an aphrodisiac; mix that in with alcohol, low lighting, and smooth one-liners, music is a man’s best wingman “ . . .[music] can become the pied piper.” Yeah, thanks, but no….I’m good.

As a woman of Caribbean birth and heritage, music and sexuality is a natural pairing. Caribbean people ooze sexual awareness, it’s heavy in our language, the mood and lyrics in our music, and the way our bodies naturally move. Nature or nurture, music and sex just fit. Pick up that dusty guitar and serenade your lover right out of their draws, press play on some oldies and goodies, write a poem to the music of their favourite song and share it with them as your bodies merge, woo the atmosphere. Music expresses what we can’t always express, and the perfect song during sex will intensify an already strong sexual attraction.

My lover is one of those people who doesn’t see music as an important part of everyday life, including during sexual intercourse. I’m breaking him in however, his rhythm and sexual stamina may benefit from it. I know the neighbors must be thankful when we do, our lovemaking can get quite loud.