Margaret Thatcher wrote, “What is success? I think it is a mixture of having a flair for the thing that you are doing; knowing that it is not enough, that you have got to work hard and a certain sense of purpose.” How poignant these words are as I examine myself and my accomplishments. Am I living my life to the fullest, or do I merely just “exist”? Am I using my talents and gifts to the best of my ability?
Needless to say, this question is not always the easiest to answer, as there are many levels that success or happiness is graded upon. Many of us are happy just being housewives; slaves to the daily grind. Don’t get me wrong as the role of a mother and a wife should be embarked upon with the purest of hearts; as a mother’s love is priceless. However, what about your needs as a woman, a human being with your own life? Do you settle when it comes to your own desires?
“But what more do you really want Sandy?” a friend of mine recently asked. “You seem so restless all the time! Just sekkle yuself a bit and tings will work out okay,” he said. That is exactly my point! I am not satisfied with just “Ok”. I want more! Not riches and fame specifically, but the chance to live my own life, the life given to me by God; to its fullest potential. To others, my ambitions may be misconstrued as being narcissistic or self-centered, as one close male friend jokingly described me recently, while comparing my similarities to another female in the “biz”. It is safe to say that this female entertainer was not a fan of my effervescent personality and sharp, but sometimes devilish, yet playful wit.
“She tink seh yu full of yuself,” my friend told me, as this entertainer had disclosed to him recently. “Who cares?” I asked him, laughing out loudly with a gut busting laugh; finding the whole situation amusing and highly entertaining. “She does not know me so why is she watching me? I am not in a race with anyone but myself,” I said to him sheepishly.
“Like Oprah suggested, I never look at the person beside me and I just focus on the finish line,” I added.
Women are often wrapped up in watching others, never focusing on themselves. “Who does she think she is?” is often whispered behind our backs, while others judge and mock our ambitions. Our lives as mothers, wives and even back stabbing girlfriends, often rob us of the opportunity to harness our own creativity, and “be all that you can be”, as the army slogan suggests.
Love and live as if your life depended upon it, as on that day of reckoning in front of God, there should be no regrets in meeting your maker. Ask that man out on a date that you like. Take that trip to Paris or hike the Appalachian Trail! Bungee jump if you want to; just live as if your life depended upon it.
On the day that I personally come face to face with God, because as we all know that death and taxes are unavoidable, if I am asked by God, “Now what did you do with the life that I granted you Sandy?”, I would like my answer to be quick and joyous. “Well Lawd, you know that there was the little ting called an Oscar that I won, and oh yeah, I raised my boys on my own who are now productive members of society.
“By the way Lawd, did you ever get the book that I sent you in the mail, the one that I wrote? It became a bestseller you know Lord! But why am I even saying this to you Lord, as we all know, you see and know all things; whether it is good or bad!” Hopefully he sees the humour in my words and does not think that I am “full of myself”!
Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: firstname.lastname@example.org, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: email@example.com.