Can You Be Happy Without A Man?

Anais Nin wisely said, “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Unfortunately, some women do not understand what it really means to be truly loved or to be in love, and they display this by making numerous mistakes when it comes to relationships.

One of the biggest mistakes that I often see women make is to jump from one man to the next, without even a breath in between. Celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, and Kim Kardashian, never seem to be without a man for a long period of time and often marry these men in haste, only to find themselves in a divorce court a short time later.

Far be it from me to judge, but one often wonders about their mental stability as they bounce from one relationship to another. Everyday gals such as you and I, are often left pondering, “Well, if these beautiful, rich and highly famous ladies cannot keep or do without a man, what then should I do?” or, “Why are these ladies not able to hold onto their men and have lasting relationships?”

The problem here is that not only are we trained to think that our lives and well-being are dependent on us having a man in our lives, but it is often seen as a failure if we don’t, especially by our friends and family members. Women are told that “God created a man for a woman and a woman for a man.” This in biblical terms might be correct, but what if no one acts in such a “manly” way for me to be that special woman to him?

It is my belief that a man is the head of my household and should act accordingly, but what do you do if your mate is not stepping up to the plate as he should? Do you still run to every Tom, Dick or Harry because he might have a Tom, Dick or Harry between his legs? Finding a Mr. Right is not a problem, as men will forever desire the warm, smooth caresses of women. However, finding the correct Mr. Right is the issue!

The thought of being alone, even for a short space of time, is such an issue for many women that they often end up in situations that they would never have been in. If only they were willing to stop and focus on themselves for one minute. Instead, many women bounce from one man to the next as if their lives depended on it.

So what do you do if you find yourself alone and without a man for a while? Instead of going out to the clubs every weekend, with the hopes of you finding your Mr. Right at the bar, sipping on a champagne bottle, in a pink and grey suit that he purchased from Walmart, use the time wisely and allow yourself to heal properly.

The one thing that you need to remember is that men pick up on desperation, and the more desperate you are, the more difficult and heart-breaking situations you will find yourself in. Therefore, you must deal with your issues and problems, as we all have them!

Bouncing from one man to the next, in no space of time will not help, as all it does is sweep your hang-ups under the rug! Dealing with one’s issues allows you to really get to know, and understand yourself, and what makes you tick as a human being. This will then allow you to make better choices for yourself, as you continue to search for your Mr. Right! Truly knowing yourself will act as a compass, a guide of sorts to you finding your correct Mr. Right and not another Mr. Right Now!

Sandy Daley is a columnist, radio and television personality and actress. She is also the author of “Whose Vagina Is It, Really?” She can be contacted at: Website: www.sandydaley.com, Facebook: womanincontrol@facebook.com, Twitter: twitter.com/whosevaginaisit and/or Email: thesinglegirlspot@gmail.com.